so long

2019 is coming to an end, and I'm here struggling to catch up with my studies for my finals in a few days.

2019 taught me a lot. I think I grew a lot this year. I had better grip on my priorities, not to mention I finally learned what should be prioritized and what should go last. I learned to not hold on too tight on something that is not exactly mine, and I learned to cherish the people around me more. I lost a lot of cats this year, but it's alright. The world is a cruel place for them anyway. I learned to love studying, found the best way for me to study, I learned to love the things I'm currently doing.

I gained a hell lot of confidence this year. No, I didn't get any prettier lmao. But for some reason, I came to be more accepting of my flaws; my skin colour, my body, my average looking face, my weird brows, my moles and dark circles. I just think it's fun to love myself, after my whole life of loving people and gaining nothing lmao.

Yeah, that too. My circle kept getting smaller & smaller, but I don't mind it at all. I stopped trying to impress people, because those who actually love me will stay, no matter how unimpressed they are with me haha.

I discovered a lot of things about myself this year. I found music that suits my soul, I found my sense of style, I figured out my actual skin tone...I'm quite proud of what I've achieved this year. 2019 is my proudest year so far.

I made amends with my exes lmao. I can sit down with my ex and we'd talk about how stupid we were back in the days, and I lost all my bitter feelings towards my exes, even those who broke me super hard. I had gained the belief that I deserve the peace of forgiving and letting go.

Towards the end, 2019 got pretty shitty but hey, I think I got through it rather well. I'm still here. I never thought of harming myself anymore, I found better ways to let go of my stress and miseries. Damn. I guess you can say I'm a late bloomer in life lmao all my friends my age are buying cars of their own, getting married, but I'm here achieving what they had achieved when they were 21 lmao.
But I've come to the conclusion that I don't care about that, it's okay. Everybody moves at their own pace. I will turn out fine, I'm certain.

To more growth in 2020, inshaAllah.