𝒎𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒌𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒚

Hi yo!

Saja update dua kali haha bazir kertas.

Bazir kertas whut? Uhm.

I spent some time rearranging my room today. And I found bits of my diary in a box bawah katil.
The pieces that I wrote about you.

Goodness, I can actually recall the pain in my writings hahaha.

Memula ingat nak buang, sebab cam dah takda makna dah pun. But I decided not to.
Sebab nak ingatkan diri, this is what happens when I depend too much on a human being. Sebagai simbol padan muka kat aku. Hahahaha. So I put it back in the box, stashed it back under my bed.

I swear, it doesn't hurt as much as before.
Maybe because I tried so hard to push away the memories of him to the back of my mind, so I just kinda feel...distant? I don't feel love for him anymore. Like he's a stranger. I used to have flashbacks of everything when I see his latest photos tapi now, no. It's like, he's different. The person I used to love, is not him. Ok I swear I've never felt this way before, so aku cam tokleh nak state aku ni dah move on ke belum. Yknow?

Maybe because he's changed so much in a year, or maybe it was the pain he put me through, I now feel numb when it comes to him. Ek?

Mampuslah. Yang penting aku dah tak kisah macam mana aku kisah dulu. Haaa.

Yang penting skang, I'm focused to lose weight, and to take piano exams.

Tapi piano tak ada. Hahahaha.

And I am freakin proud of my room ya Allah this was how I imagined my room to be when I was 12. Ada keyboard, ada guitar, ada lots of books, lots of shoes, lots of stuffed toys, and a body-height mirror. I am so happy, so so freaking happy. My 20 year old self might be wanting a minimalist room, all white and fresh but nah, I'm settling for my current room. I'm glad enough to have my 12 year old wish to come true. Hihi.

NANTI I POST GAMBAR BILIK BILA DAH SIAP KEMAS DAH SIAP FAIRYLIGHTS SEMUA BECAUSE I'M JUST SO PROUD. HAHAHAHAHA.

Okayyy byeee goodnight!